Often close family and friends get the chance to select things with special meaning to keep to remember the person they’ve lost.

Sometimes keepsakes are selected for them or they may be specified in a Will.

However noble and nice we like to think we are, people can turn strangely grabby when it comes to who gets what. Try and remember it’s only stuff – not worth spoiling relationships over.

Sometimes ‘stuff’ can become a pressure. People feel that they have to keep it to honour the memory of the person they lost. Don’t get too bound by this notion. You can end up living in a mausoleum. If your mum liked gold-on-felt painted tigers and you don’t, it doesn’t mean you didn’t love her by not keeping them. If your sister hoarded stuff and you’re a Feng Shui queen of calm, don’t feel you have to adopt her ways.

If you inherit a pile of stuff, maybe select one thing to keep. If you get a pile of your own baby clothes that have been kept pristine, keep a shoe and put it in a frame as a display. If you get handed down your granny’s hand embroidered table cloths or your big brother’s rock n roll t-shirt collection, you could have them made into something else. Our friends across the pond at Keepsake Threads can make a scarf that features old photos, a duvet cover out of t-shirts, a bag-for-life out of scraps of much-loved material.See memorials for ideas of how to remember someone.


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