Amber Lynch is Final Fling’s champion for children and young people. She has experience of coping with loss in her life.
I was 17 when my father died and it was the end of my world. He wasn’t unhealthy, he wasn’t unwell; he simply went to bed one night and didn’t wake up. He was 55. It took me 6 months to even begin to start grieving. The shock was like a big boulder had come and knocked me out of myself. In those 6 months I barely remember anything. I wasn’t a person, I was a shell that walked around pretending to know where it was I was going.
Now, 4 years on, I still grieve for my father; I still think about him every day. He is still a huge part of my life, he’s just not present.
Amber works with the Child Bereavement Trust as an ambassador to help raise awareness of the impact of loss on children of young people.
Amber is happy to share her experience and offer help.
Q: I used to talk to this person about everything, who will I go to now?
Amber: It’s really difficult when someone dies, but what adds to the grief is when that person was someone you went to for advice or to confide in. You will never have a relationship exactly like that, but you will build new ones with other people that you will be able to confide in. It takes time but don’t be scared to get close to others.
Q: My dad died, now I’m scared when my mum goes out that she won’t come back
Amber: I felt this way and it is difficult to feel comfortable when your other parent goes somewhere without you or if you lose them when you’re out. It’s normal to feel this way, but you can’t let it get in the way of things you want to do. Let your parent know you’re scared; getting it out will make you feel a little better.
Q: How will I go back to school?
Amber: You need to make sure that you are ready to go back to school. Make sure all of your teachers know that someone close to you has died. It is up to you whether you tell your friends or not, some people get scared because they don’t know what to say so they walk away, don’t let this put you off telling other people. Talking to people will help you feel better and it could strengthen some friendships you didn’t realise you had.
Share your views, ask a question
Want to get something off your chest, share your views on death, dying and loss or ask a question? Here’s the place to do it.
Amber will be popping in and out of the forum and will help and contribute where she can.
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